I’m doing this to help people become better versions of themselves. I see the importance and necessity for humanity to be wise and reasonable if we are to survive in the future. I believe in God, but I haven’t found a religious group capable of addressing this challenge. Despite the deep wisdom in the Bible, I see it as a mix of reasonable insights and unnecessary filler—like seeds among weeds. I realize this might offend some readers.
The way Jesus and many prophets were misunderstood has always troubled me. I believe that if I could access the same source of understanding they had, I would comprehend it too. For me, reading books is a way to explore others’ opinions and interpretations, but I wanted to know firsthand. There are promises that those who seek truth will find it, so I set out to find God and the Holy Spirit. First, I set aside everything I’d learned from books and people. I imagined myself as a pioneer, discovering God as He truly is—or if He even exists. Was it possible? It had to be. I didn’t want fluff—just the pure essence of God, revealed to those who seek Him, especially those for whom this is the most important question of their lives.
I didn’t just want knowledge; I wanted to be truly free from sin. I dislike being automatic, reactive, manipulated, or deceived. I want to be consistently unconditional, righteous, and prudent. I know I can’t become such a person on my own—I’ve tried hard. One day, while driving to work, I noticed something deep, wise, and reasonable present in the world. It was everywhere, even inside me. The best way to describe it is “silent wisdom.” I wanted to be guided by it. My prayers reached toward it, wordlessly. I stayed present in the moment, connected to it, and offered everything I am—my past, weaknesses, questions, confessions—like a single “file.” I opened my heart, believing this was the Spirit of God.
No words came from It, but our connection deepened. It felt like God’s eyes, judging everything. I could pose any question—Is this right? Wrong? Irrelevant?—and receive an evaluation. It judged me too. The answers were so profound I couldn’t fully explain them, even to myself. At some point, I grew curious about science. I sought challenges from an atheist perspective and explored new insights into human and animal behavior. My favorite topics became neuroscience, ethology, and paleontology. I rejected philosophy, psychology, and religion as mere opinions.
I discovered that human behavior mirrors what animals do. This raised a question: What’s the qualitative difference between us? Evil and goodness exist in both. Animals and humans react similarly in certain situations, and we feel the same things—injustice, tribalism, revenge, love, loneliness, joy, anger. Nature reflects both altruism and egoism. Animals didn’t “fall from grace,” and for them, that’s fine. But I wondered: Was it goodness we lost and evil we gained in Eden? I wrestled with a puzzle—data suggesting we fell from grace, “died” yet lived, lost our connection with God, and became evil, though we didn’t invent it. I presented all this to God’s Spirit, and the pieces came together.
I won’t insist that everything in the biblical Genesis literally happened. But we lost Reason and became like animals. Reason is guidance; its alternative is instinct. With Reason, we understand; with instincts, we feel—a lower form of “understanding.” Instincts are unreasonable but can lead to reasonable outcomes: animals reproduce and survive. There’s no justice in that system—hunt, fight, protect, retreat, hide, or be eaten, defeated, hungry, or lose territory or a mate. Our desires and feelings, though, are unreasonable. We can trick them with masturbation, junk food, video games, movies, biased opinions, or by watching professional athletes compete in sports instead of engaging in physical activities ourselves. We can fool them by caring for pets instead of raising our own children. Rich people collect money and valuables just to possess them, investing to amass even more. We’re destroying our planet through wars and ecological disasters. The result? Humanity is sick and suffering measurably. We are using intellect to serve our unreasonable instincts. We cannot survive indefinitely under this system of guidance.