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Common conversation with Christians

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My conversations with Christians often sound something like this:

Me: I just talked to the Designer, and I assembled a nice square table.

Christians: That can’t be true. The instructions say it’s round.

Me: I tried following the instructions, but something’s off. They say the table must be round in the end, but it’s impossible to assemble a round table from all the straight and square parts I got from the Designer.

Christians: Our professional assemblers know the instructions from A to Z and have explained that the table must be round.

Me: Have they ever tried to assemble it?

Christians: No, they said we’re missing some parts.

Me: Did you talk to the Designer? He explained to me that He never wrote the instructions Himself. Someone might have made mistakes while dictating to scribes. Plus, it’s a copy of a copy of a copy.

Christians: We’re constantly sending Him messages, asking for the right parts and for Him to send His Son—the well-known, talented assembler. But we’re sure the instructions are accurate. We think you have the wrong parts, probably from a different designer, His competitor.

Me: I know His Son is really talented. I actually copied His table, you know, since our Designer doesn’t talk more than necessary. It was easier for me to see the final product and replicate it. As for a wrong designer—there’s only one Designer.

Christians: We don’t believe you. You’re just a clueless assembler who can’t bend the parts to make a round shape.

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